Grading the Draft.

Wasn't last night a hoot? Three hours filled with wrestling, draft surprises, free cash, and Vince McMahon being taken out by his "Million Dollar Mania" sign. I'm always a bit hopeful for the draft. It has so much potential, really. Were the WWE to keep the three brands separate, and the draft consistent, it could truly shake things up. But the three brands intermingle whenever it's convenient, and the draft is different every year. Things like that keep this from being the big night that Vince wants it to be. Now that I've got my "internet fan" rant out from under me, let's discuss the picks.

1. RAW:Rey Mysterio
I'm a bit surprised at this one. First off, Rey isn't near the wrestler he used to be. He's had several surgeries over the past few years, and regardless of how determined he is, that's going to slow him down. Secondly, his size will be an issue on RAW when taking on guys like John Cena, Randy Orton, and JBL. There are ways to book around that, and they've done it on Smackdown, but I don't have that much faith in the RAW creative team. Where I do see potential is in a Rey Mysterio heel turn. While I HIGHLY doubt that Rey would turn heel, especially towards the end of his career, he could use the heel turn to justify a slower style that would benefit his bad knees. This would mean, though, that he would be giving up his one advantage against larger opponents, therefore neutralizing him as a threat in the eyes of the fans. I see him coming back for a short time, but not making the impact on RAW that he could have several years ago.

2. Smackdown:Jeff Hardy
Here's an interesting pick. Jeff Hardy to Smackdown. The potential here is for Hardy to hit the Main Event scene with a vengeance. Hardy could feud with Edge for the title and have a great series of matches, as the two wrestler's styles are incredibly compatible. There's also potential with MVP, Kenny Dykstra, Chuck Palumbo and the returning Gregory Helms. This is probably the most sensible pick of the entire night. Hardy's style and attitude make him perfect for Friday nights, and the audience he brings with him only helps as Smackdown moves to a different network. My only regret is that I won't get to see more of Hardy vs. Orton.

3. RAW:CM Punk
Here's the thing: I'm a huge Punk fan. Having said that, I think that him going to RAW is a bum deal. Not that I want him to stay in ECW carrying around that briefcase tagging against Miz and Morrison for another year. I just think that Punk, like Jeff Hardy, would better suited for a year on Smackdown. Not to mention that he holds the Money in the Bank title shot, meaning he could switch brands without a draft pick. Now, having said that, I do think there is potential for Punk on RAW. There are obvious feuds down the road with Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho, Santino, Paul Burchill, and even Randy Orton. Some of those would be great. Punk could help bring out Santino's in ring prowess, he could be taken to the next level by Jericho, and he could have great matches with Burchill or Orton. Punk's true potential comes once he turns heel. (I know, I want everyone to turn heel. I could actually see this happening, though.)
Just imagine CM Punk vs. HBK, CM Punk vs. Hardcore Holly, CM Punk vs. John Cena. That last match has the makings of a WrestleMania moment if you ask me. The diehard internet marks screaming their guts out for their crowned savior against the screaming women and children John Cena bring to the dance. The dueling chants would fill the arena as the two squared off for the WWE Championship. It wouldn't be my favorite WrestleMania moment because of the dueling chants, but it would be awesome.

4. ECW:Matt Hardy, V.1-uhhhh
The second the Hardy's came out as a tag team, I knew two things: 1. I knew they were losing. 2. I knew Matt was going to be drafted. Here's the one thing I didn't know, and that was that Matt would be drafted to ECW. When it happened, though, I wasn't surprised. Matt's got that Hardy fanbase which could help draw people to watch Tuesday nights on Sci-Fi. He's got a little credibility which could help make him ECW Champion. He's also got feud potential against Shelton Benjamin, Chavo Guerrero, and Your Paragon of Virtue Elijah Burke. He could even make legitimate threats out of Mike Knox and Matt Striker. Matt brings another strong face to ECW, which can only help the little brand that can't. Now, if they could make a true main eventer on the show, I might actually watch.

5. Smackdown:Jim Ross
The fact that announcers are available in the draft is ridiculous to me. It only emphasizes how stupid this whole thing is. You never see announcers get drafted in real sports, and that's because the announcers are hired by the networks. This only serves to remind us that wrestling, ahem.. SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT is not like legitimate sports. Having said that, this is just this years "How can we replace JR" move. Sometime in the next year he'll be back on RAW, and Cole will be back on Smackdown.

6. RAW:Michael Cole
I'll add one thing, and that is that Michael Cole being drafted because JR was drafted to Smackdown only proves that this was a rigged draft. It's why doing the draft without GM's making the pick is a stupid idea. This would have made sense if Vickie Guerrero picked JR, and the RAW GM would pick Cole to compensate. Instead we got the WWE Draft "Randomizer" "randomly" picking two announcers back to back. Also, it would have been better had Cole invited JR over instead of instantly assuming that he lost his job. There have been three man teams in the past, after all.

7. RAWBatista
This is one of the moves which EVERYONE called before the draft, along with Umaga to Smackdown. It's a good pick in the sense that he now has the chance to continue the feud with HBK, and possibly even Jericho. After that, there can be more brawls with JBL, and even a feud with Lance Cade. What I really want to see, though, is Batista vs. Santino. That looks to be hilarious.

8. SmackdownUmaga
This is the other move which everyone called, and with good reason. No one on the RAW creative team can do anything with a monster, and Umaga is fresh out of feuds. The idea of him teaming with Snitsky was great, but they'd need a manager to pull it off. Imagine if Mr. Fuji, Capt. Lou, or Freddie Blassie were still around to lead those two. It would be AWESOME. However, we're in the year 2008, and Umaga is going to Smackdown. My hope would be that the Smackdown team could actually use Umaga properly, and allow the Samoan Bull(dog)dozer to actually have a feud and not just be a GM's weapon of choice.

9. RAW:Kane
So the big red machine is heading back to Mondays. I actually think it's a good move for him, but I still don't see anything great happening with Kane. The last year hasn't been good for Kane, and he needs something to freshen him up. His ECW Title run has, sadly, dragged along and brought him down a notch. He needs a fresh feud to bring him back where he belongs. He could make Snitsky seem like a legitimate threat, brawl with JBL, or have it out with Jericho or Batista. Regardless of what he does, it has to be better than his time in ECW.

10. Smackdown:Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssttttteeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr Kennedy!...

Kennedy
A great move. Kennedy has a long awaited feud with Edge that should NOT be ignored. That feud alone is enough to get me to watch Smackdown. A heel Edge working a babyface Kennedy is a dream come true as far as characters go. Much like Stone Cold Steve Austin, Kennedy won't be afraid to go far beyond what many normal babyfaces would do to beat Edge, and to win the World Heavyweight Championship. Kennedy could also hold his own against MVP, Finlay, and The Big Show. Dare I say it, I think Kennedy could get a decent match out of The Great Khali. Unless something drastic happens, I can see Mr. Kennedy, World Champion by the next WrestleMania.

11. Smackdown:Triple H
Mr. Kennedy, say hello to something drastic. I believe Paul Heyman told JBL at the original One Night Stand that the only reason he was champ was because HHH didn't work Tuesdays. Well now he does. I have a feeling that the first feud on Smackdown post-Night of Champions will be HHH taking on Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship. I think HHH will drop the WWE Title to Cena, and Edge will retain just so HHH can chase Edge. I don't really see much else for Hunter. He can take on the Big Show, Umaga, MVP, Finlay and Edge. But I can't really see those feuds satisfying him. It's clearly a move to boost Smackdown for the move to MyNetwork. once they get there, though, I don't see him staying much longer.

We have another year until the draft shows up, and a ego building cliffhanger about Vince McMahon to tide us over. Maybe with all this we can let the memories of what else happened about this time last year pass us by. Like many tragedies, we'll never forget what happened to Nancy and Daniel Benoit. Let's try, though, to remember what Nancy did for us, and for the business. What a great manager she was for wrestlers like Kevin Sullivan, The Four Horsemen, Doom, and others.

To tell JJ who you would have drafted, click here.

To talk about the draft with JJ and others, click here.

At least Dibiase knew how to make it interesting...

This past Monday night, I tuned in with piqued curiosity to see exactly how Vince was going to give away one million dollars of his own money. I figured it would be a quick sweepstakes, with a brief segment here or there trying to give away an entire million dollars. What I got was surprisingly different.
From the first moment McMahon came out I was flabbergasted at the amount of time wasted on this publicity stunt. During almost every segment of television time we were treated to Vince slowly and awkwardly dialing telephone numbers, hanging up on people, and asking them for the password. COUNTLESS minutes which could have been devoted to storylines and character development to further improve the quality of the WWE's flagship show was wasted. Not only that, but the time and energy of the live crowd in Oakland also went out the window with these excruciating segments. I can't believe the crowd didn't start chanting boring EVERY time McMahon stepped onto the platform.
If you're going to go through with such an inane idea, why not do it during random segments of the show. Instead of having Vince walk out to the platform, have him in his office backstage. When someone comes to ask him a favor, he can make them call the person on a phone set up in his office. That way you're furthering the storyline, getting on with the publicity stunt, and giving the person winning the money the chance to say something to a superstar they love, hate or don't care about.
Having said that, what was the deal with all those people he called? McMahon's calling to GIVE them free money and they sounded like they could care less. "Hello? This is Bubba from Freebird City. Yes? The password is WWE Universe. I won how much? Ok, thanks. Bye." Wow. Just Wow. Were Vince to call my house, I'd probably have a few things to say other than my name and a password. Before the music started, for sure.
Maybe next week we'll see some of the kinks worked out. Honestly, I'd like to see them do something like this for Smackdown and ECW. But we know that won't happen. A) They're not that important, B) Smackdown is taped. One can wish, though, can't he?

To tell JJ what you'd say to Vince, click here.

To talk about what you would like to have seen instead of McMahon playing phone tag, click here.

Same ole Heartbreak

As I watched RAW Monday night, awaiting Vince McMahon's "big" announcement, I actually saw a good wrestling match. Not totally surprising, as RAW has shown us a lot of good wrestling in the past few weeks, but it was a match that made me think. I'm talking about Chris Jericho and Shawn Michaels going one on one in the Main Event. A good match that's part of a good storyline that really got me thinking.
The great thing about Jericho and HBK is that the two really click together. Jericho is admittedly a fan of HBK, and that showed in their match. Almost every time HBK came out ready to do a signature move, Jericho was prepared. HBK didn't really have anything other than his usual repertoire, and it cost him.
Here's my big idea: Make HBK find a new finisher, or some new moves to up his game.
Now, I know that no one in WWE is going to walk up to the guy who's dubbed "Mr. Wrestlemania" and force a new finisher on him, but it is a really logical thing to do. Part of what has kept Undertaker from getting stale is his various trademark maneuvers. He's got the Tombstone, Chokeslam, Last Ride, and now his "choke" maneuver. Not to mention that he's altered his standard offense as his character has changed.
Think about when Jericho came back. Y2J knew better than to teturn without something different, and he brought in the "Codebreaker" to give him an impact move that gave him an entirely new dimension to his matches. Now he doesn't have to work the back for the Walls of Jericho, he can also work the head and neck for the codebreaker. He doesn't have to wait for his opponent to tire out enough to slap on a submission or hit the Lionsault, he can also surprise them at any time with the knees to the face.
I'm not saying that HBK has to stop being the "Showstoppa," just that the show shouldn't stop as much for the Sweet Chin Music or the flying elbow like it once did. Every fan in attendance knows when HBK is going to kick someone, or when he's going to drop the elbow. Now that he's in his forties, many of the wrestlers on the roster grew up watching him. They should be able to anticipate as much as the "thousands in attendance and millions watching at home." All I'm asking is for Shawn himself to realize that and freshen up his in ring act.

To tell JJ that HBK will never change here.

To talk about Y2J vs. HBK, McMahon giving away a Million and more, click here.

(Pictures courtesy of www.onlineworldofwrestling.com)

I CAN see you, but I don't want to.

Last night on RAW, John Cena showed me every reason that us "older" wrestling fans don't like him. (When I say "older" I use quotations because I'm in fact 25, but I'm already way out of the John Cena demographic.) It's not because he's being forced down our throats every week, even though he is. It's not because he used to come out and rap about "Deez Nutz." It's because he doesn't really know what or who he is, or what he's really doing.

When Cena first came out last night, I could have sworn it would be to defend Mickie James and her protests to William Regal. That would have made perfect sense. It would have helped Mickie James out, as fans would see that even Cena respects her, and it would have helped Cena out as he would come to the aid of someone who wasn't getting respect from Regal. Instead, though, we get John Cena escorting Mickie from the ring while he talks with Regal. Which is the wrestling equivalent of saying "get back to the kitchen, woman!" Even after that, we start to think "Oh man, Cena's going to give it to Regal" when what happens? Cena starts to lecture Regal on respect.

Now I know "respect" is just as important to John Cena's gimmick as pretending that starring in the Marine makes him a Marine, but lecturing Regal isn't the way to do it. This isn't World Lecturing Entertainment, it's World WRESTLING Entertainment. What does that mean, children? That means we solve our differences in the ring. This is John Cena's first mistake of the night. Instead of being a wrestler and doing something about Regal making the wrong decisions, Cena wants to talk about it. Can you imagine if Stone Cold just wanted to talk to Mr. McMahon about the bad decisions he made? How about instead of Laying the Smacketh Down, The Rock wanted to Cheweth the Fat with his opponents? To the older fans used to someone who knows that actions speak louder than words, John Cena is a waste of time.

Move on to Main Event, and we'll see another aspect to John Cena that irks the older wrestling fans: his in-ring style. Now, I'm not the kind of guy that believes "work rate" brings the ratings, but Cena is one of the few times where I think that what he does in the ring really hurts him, especially against someone like Randy Orton.

Now, I've watched this match three times just to make sure I wasn't making this up, but Cena's repertoire is, for lack of a better word, sloppy. Randy Orton starts the match looking as if he's mentally prepared. J.R. used that wonderful term "methodical" when describing Orton in ring. That used to mean slow, but with Orton's in ring style it's very accurate. He lays on every headlock, every punch, every back breaker with precision and intent. He wants to work on your head so that concussion kick really takes effect, or for that RKO to deliver a KO. Cena, not so much. If Orton is, as J.R. called him, a viper, then John Cena is a blind gorilla. Cena's every move in that ring looked as if he didn't really have a hold on what he was doing. His ring work looked sloppier than the Goodwin's overalls. Lots of flying through the ring while "holding on" to Orton when it was clear he didn't have a hold at all. Bulldogs, clotheslines, even a cross body that looked horrible in comparison with Orton's precise movements.

Now, I'm not saying Orton is the best in the business, but he looked like a million dollars compared to the Vanilla Gorilla Monday night. If you add that, as well as his confused gimmick, John Cena isn't at all connecting with the older fans. There's an old saying that Jim Cornette is fond of: "You can't polish a turd." Luckily from Cena, he's far from being a turd. But if he is to continue on the course he's on, he will be. The Great Khali has excuses for his lack of in ring prowess, John Cena has none.

To tell JJ that he can't be polished, click here.

To talk about John Cena's performance on RAW, click here.

(John Cena Picture courtesy of www.onlineworldofwrestling.com)

Two sides to every coin...

As I watched the two "weiners" Carlito & Santino last night, I couldn't help but think about my blog entry from last week. Not because they exemplify the things that I pointed out, but because they seem to be different. Carlito and Santino together remind me of what WWE used to be. Now this could be because the people backstage are giving them better stuff to work with. To me, though, this shows the other side of the coin in the creative equation in professional wrestling: what the wrestlers themselves do.
Several months ago, WWE finally dropped OVW from their developmental status and "let go" of Al Snow. This has been something rumored about for what seems like ages, and it finally happened. What amazed me, though, was some of the things supposedly said about OVW in the dirtsheets. There were talents complaining about the treatment, saying that morale was always down because they were constantly being yelled at. What does this have to do with Carlito & Santino? Well, it's pretty simple: There are those that take what they're given and run with it, and those that take what they're given and cry about it.
Carlito & Santino, in ring talent aside, have taken what could have been crappy gimmicks (and have been at times) and made them comedic gold. Santino has not only become a good heel by his asinine actions in the ring, but his butchering of the English language gives you a chance to feel as though you are better than him and thus justifies your booing him. You don't just feel like he's and idiot, you know it. That's not just the creative team at work there, that's Santino. Had he not run with this ball and worked very hard to make Santino come across as idiotic as he does, we would have seen the "We wish him well in his future endeavors" comment a long time ago. Not only has he done himself good, but he's done Carlito good too, almost completely revitalizing the Caribbean character just by giving him someone to play off of. For a brief moment Monday night, I believed that these two could Main Event someday.
Creative gives you something to work off of backstage. Once you're on the floor, though, it's fairly up to you. This is why I don't completely blame creative for Kane's Championship Speech a few weeks ago. Yes, it's their fault for giving him a speech that sounds as bland as anything else they write, but it's also up to him to make that speech fit his character. Creative is never going to give you the perfect promo or vignette for your character, that's why you have to be able to work your character into it. It's a two way door that too many people just don't walk through.
Back to the OVW deal. Why did I include it? To me, it seems that a lot of the people going through OVW were complaining about morale because they weren't getting what they thought was proper treatment. Al Snow being one of the trainers who was credited with this the most. I've seen Al's "Secrets of the Ring" video from ROH. He's not nice about some things, but he's not nice because people are making basic mistakes that they shouldn't be. They complained about his yelling when they should have opened their ears and listened.
I've begun to see that creative isn't always to blame. Sometimes it's the wrestlers themselves who are too timid to suggest something, or maybe they expect everything to come to them perfect and shiny. This is a creative business, built on performers and sometimes their mistakes are the ones we should be criticizing, not just the writers.

To criticize JJ's mistakes, click here.

To talk about how WWE should re-hire Al Snow as a trainer, click here.

(Pictures courtesy of www.onlineworldofwrestling.com)

Too much of a Soap Opera..

Last night as I was watching RAW, I realized just how much change has occurred in WWE since the late 90's and early in this decade. Not just in the presentation of the product, but in the product itself. Long gone are the days when watching WWE felt like watching a bunch of characters enjoying making a name for themselves. There's no unscripted humor, no unscripted interviews, and no unscripted anything, really.

Take the Cryme Tyme vignette last night. JTG and Shad are backstage showing us what they stole from people at Wrestlemania, in a mock shopping channel set up. They've got some soul in a shaker courtesy of "Soul Man" Rocky Johnson, an autographed Playboy from Maria, and panties that belonged to Mae Young. Funny stuff, but it's in no way shape or form connected to ANYTHING else in the show, as it would have been several years ago. Someone would have figured that if they bought that shaker full of Rocky Johnson soul, the might be able to "shake" (pun intended) off a losing streak or somehow improve their game. Maybe Al Snow would have coughed up some cash in order to improve Steve Blackman's hard headed personality. You could have even had someone incredibly gullible pay for it, only to find out later that the shaker had nothing but pepper in it, giving them sneezing fits and costing them a match which would lead to a feud with Cryme Tyme for selling fake products.

Later on in the show, someone like Funaki would have approached Cryme Tyme for the Playboy to see Maria, and then snuck away with Mae Young's panties. If not that, then Maybe someone like Val Venis would have picked up the Playboy, and he and Santino would start a feud as Santino would chastise Venis for looking at Maria naked (great idea for a feud, as Santino and Maria are no longer together, so it makes him even more of a jerk. Venis, being a former porn star, has seen many women naked and probably doesn't think that much of looking in Playboy. The misunderstanding is more than enough to start a decent mid-card feud).

Another thing that really made me consider that WWE has changed was Kane's obviously scripted promo on ECW following Wrestlemania. The man beats 23 other men to earn a title shot, and then beats Chavo in 8 seconds for the ECW title, and comes out cutting a promo that not only sounds like something Randy Orton might say, but is delivered in the way Randy Orton would say it. This is Kane we're talking about. The same Kane who was once a monster that believed he was hideously scarred by a fire that killed his parents. The same Kane that once he started speaking, did so with the sound of violence deep in his heart. The same Kane who now sounds nearly identical to a snotty twenty something who goes around beating up old men and calling himself a "Legend Killer."

What's wrong with this picture?

Now, I realize I may just be looking for things to complain about, but these things may just explain why WWE is getting lower ratings than they were eight to ten years ago. It may explain why there are a lot of guys like me getting their wrestling fix from independent companies like ROH, FIP, Chikara, and NWA's Showcase show on Colours (Which SamoaRowe LOVES to review, by the way). It's not like these things are hard to fix, but they might be a little too hard for some people in high places to admit.

To tell JJ how right or wrong he is, click here.

To talk about WWE's shows, and how they're overly scripted, click here.

End of an Era

You know, I've never known a time in my life during which I could say "I won't see another Ric Flair match." This past week, that changed. I've known Flair was going to retire after WrestleMania for months. The dirt sheets leaked it a long time ago. For some reason, though, I thought to myself that it would be a Terry Funk retirement. In other words, it would be the first of many. In the past few weeks, though, I started to question it. It truly seemed as if Flair was saying goodbye in his actions and attitudes during his moments on camera with WWE.
Then came Monday night. First, the announcement of his farewell address. Then, the montages of some of his "biggest" title wins. Finally, during the main event, Space Mountain himself walks down the aisle and thanks the fans. It was a truly heartwarming event.
I got a sense of dread when Triple H's music hit. I'll admit it. Many of us internet wrestling geeks spend our days typing away at our keyboards (apparently in our mother's basements) spewing vitriol over "The Game." When his music hits, I'm conditioned to be annoyed and prepare myself for long speeches about his greatness. But Monday night, he stepped in and did just the opposite. He reminded us of just how great Flair is. The "wheelin', dealin', jet flyin, limousine ridin' son of a gun" who won 16 world titles and wore the crimson mask countless times just to entertain us. To prove it, he brought out some of the greatest wrestlers in history who sought to tribute Flair.
Much can be said about the order in which these guys came out, but I think it's disrespectful to the man they came out for. Almost everyone on the list is or will be a "Hall of Famer": Blanchard, Dillon, Anderson, Windham, Batista, Steamboat, Race, Valentine, Malenko, Jericho, Cena, Michaels. Not to mention Flair's family and the entire WWE locker room. For the first time I can remember, I finally feel as if WWE has done someone right as they leave the business.
The past few years have thrown me curveballs. I've learned to live in a world without guys like Rick Rude, Owen Hart, Brian Pillman, and Curt Hennig because they were taken before their time. I've had to come to grips with the fact that Bret Hart retired before he was ready to, and that Chris Benoit became a monster before he ended his life. It's great to know that one of the all time greats, if not the greatest, left on his own terms.
Thank you, Mr. Flair. Thank you for everything .
{photos in the post are courtesy of www.obsessedwithwrestling.com)

To talk with JJ and others about the greatness of Flair, click here.

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Perception is reality...

I'm relieved to finally get a chance to hash out something I've been thinking about for the past few weeks, but haven't been able to because of school oriented projects. You see, I'm getting my second bachelor's degree in Political Science, to go with my History degree. This doesn't seem to be a big deal, or have anything to do with wrestling, but I'm gonna tell you something that you might not understand at first, and that a lot of "smarter" people will have issue with: I like politics, and I like wrestling.

Now, you're sitting at your desktop computer, or at Starbucks with your laptop, and you're saying "JJ, so what?" Here's the deal: I like politics for the same reasons I like wrestling. Now, the first thing you're thinking is that politics and wrestling are absolutely nothing alike. Wrestling is a bunch of oiled up, oversized men in spandex beating each other up (no matter how fake you think it is, I know people who can show you the cuts and bruises), and politics is a bunch of stuffed shirts spouting off about issues and taking bribes.

Well, you're right, and you're wrong. See, wrestling is a lot more than just the athletic competition, and politics is a lot more than hot air. They're performances that require you to be participants. Can you imagine a political rally without the crowd seated behind the politician? How about a wrestling show with no crowd? It's done. Watch C-Span at 4 in the morning to see someone making a speech to the janitor so it can be said that they took a stand on an issue, or some of the "infamous" empty arena matches, the most recent being The Rock vs. Mankind during the Super Bowl halftime show. It's a possibility, but I promise you it's not as entertaining.

That's because both wrestling and politics rely on crowd participation. But they don't stop there, they also actively manipulate the crowd as well. You don't believe me? We all know the easy example in wrestling, it's the bad guys. Back in the day, every show had a villain who wouldn't let the fans touch him, followed by the hero who high fived as many fans as possible. Who's going to cheer for the guy who just blew past him, when the other guy took the time to high five you?

Politics is just the same. Except politicians do it politely. How many times have we heard something like this: My opponent is right, we do have a problem. But my opponent hasn't done anything to fix it while he was in office, and that's why you should vote for me.

Sound familiar? You're thought process is probably something like: "There is a problem. And they're right, the opponent hasn't done anything to fix it! I bet they will. Let's get that other one out of office!" Every single political stump speech is nothing but an interview/ promo, every debate a wrestling match, and every election a Wrestlemania.

So why is it that politicians are respected and revered, while wrestlers are looked down on and despised? Oh, that's right, wrestlers condone violence to solve issues. Not like our Presidents, right? I mean, except for Hamilton, who took part in duels. Or any of those Presidents who owned slaves and allowed for their slaves to be beaten. Or those Presidents who sent our soldiers off to war. Or those Presidents who... well, they've all condoned some sort of violence themselves, haven't they? What's worse is that their violence leads to life and death situations, whereas the violence a wrestler condones has only lead to death on a few random occasions.

Oh, but wrestling has too much sexuality! Well, too much for Ms. Lewinsky? Or Thomas Jefferson? Or Strom Thurmond? How about Newt Gingrich? All guilty of adultery. While in office.

So the next time someone starts laughing at you for being a fan of professional wrestling, ask them if they vote. And when you step into that voting booth this November, if you're old enough, don't forget that you're taking part in a high brow act of the low brow art of professional wrestling.

You can tell JJ what you think about politics and wrestling here

Discuss wrestling, but dare not discuss politics here

Congratulations, I think...

It's the talk of the internet wrestling world, mostly because nothing else is going on. That's right ladies and gentlemen, I'm talking about the "Exodus" of workers leaving TNA and heading to New York. There is a "flood" of talent leaving TNA. I use quotations to emphasize my sarcasm, if you didn't know. In reality, there are three talents leaving TNA at the moment: "Wildcat" Chris Harris, Ron "The Truth" Killings, and "Senshi" (Low-Ki). Not exactly an exodus of Biblical proportions, I know, but it's something worth talking about. Especially since these three were pivotal talents for TNA several years ago.
"Wildcat" Chris Harris is signed to a deal to go straight to the main roster(s), according to several sites. I congratulate him on this. Since I first tuned in to TNA long ago, back in the $10 Wednesday PPV days, I always felt that he and James Storm were better suited for the WWE. Their punch and kick focus, with wrestling moves on the side, didn't really fit in with what TNA was becoming known for at the time (X Division action, before it became Nash & 3D burial fodder). I felt that WWE would handle both Harris and Storm a bit better in the booking, and allow their style to grow properly, whereas TNA was bound to book them clumsily and stunt their growth as wrestlers. I feel that the assessment was accurate, even if TNA would ALWAYS give AMW the tag titles when they changed networks. I know if I were in TNA tag division, I would have REALLY resented AMW every time the TV situation changed. Jarrett and Styles, too. After AMW split for the final time, it soon became obvious that TNA had more planned for Storm than for Harris. Sad really, even though I prefer Storm myself, I still say Harris has LOADS of potential. I hope Vince uses it properly.
During his initial time in TNA, Ron "The Truth" Killings quickly established himself as a rising star, partially due to his attitude about being released by WWE. Killings, first as K-Krush, then as "The Truth" and finally as Ron "The Truth" Killings, would capture the NWA title twice, and the NWA Tag Titles as part of the 3 Live Krew. The Krew became one of TNA's most popular acts, despite Killings dancing in the ring before every match. Despite their popularity, the Krew would eventually split, partially due to the arrival of Kip James. Since then, Killings has been on the backburner in TNA, and fairly honest about his unhappiness. He's been one of the few to make allegations of racism, along with his 3LK partner Konnan, and actually left the company before. In fact, the only reason he's been in TNA recently is because they needed a partner for Adam "Pacman" Jones. Which doesn't really help the racism allegations, if you ask me.
The departure of Senshi isn't surprising. Senshi, like Killings, was one of the first stars of TNA. He helped establish the X Division with Jerry Lynn and AJ Styles, and even helped establish the tag team division as one third of XXX (Christopher Daniels and (uggh) Elix Skipper being the other two thirds). Though Ki was already making a name for himself, having won the ECWA Super 8 tournament in 2001, TNA was his first real national exposure outside of a few episodes of Jakked in which he played jobber to Crash Holly, Essa Rios, and the Radicalz (Malenko & Saturn, specifically). (Side note: After seeing one of these episodes, I was sure that WWE would sign Ki. My logic was "He's like a young Rob Van Dam." Shows you what I knew then, huh?) Ki did a great job of establishing the "X Division Style" with Jerry Lynn, and AJ Styles. Ki would make his mark known in early TNA, winning the X Division title and Tag Titles. He hasn't always been TNA oriented, though, as he was gone for nearly two years to work ROH and Japan. Upon resigning, TNA dubbed him "Senshi" and won the X Division Title from Samoa Joe in a 3 way with Sonjay Dutt. After that, Senshi became just another one of the X Division wrestlers. He was supposedly the only one that was willing to take Dixie Carter's offer the day she made it, and has actually gotten more TV time SINCE asking for his release than he did before that. Interesting scenario.
That's 3 talents, all pivotal to the early days of TNA, who are stepping out. This wouldn't be such a big deal if the buyrates were going up, or the ratings were going up, or if the company was successful. But this comes at a time in which TNA is loaded full of talent who had nothing to do with it getting where it is, with most of those talents getting TV time. It's a telling sign that guys who were there at the beginning are wanting out. Especially Harris. But will the WWE, in Killings and Harris' case, or the rest of the wrestling world, in Low Ki's case, make for greener pastures? Either way, good luck guys. You may need it.

You can tell JJ what you think about the departures here

Discuss TNA and their wrestlers leaving here

Making Cents...

Now that I'm done with writing papers and taking finals, I'm going to start an occasional theme in my blog, and that's focusing on wrestling as a business. If you're the owner of a small time company, this is aimed at you. It's a way I can give back to the business. Sometimes it will seem like common sense, but I hope to offer up some nuggets here and there.
I'm going to start by talking about advertising. This is the place where I've seen lots of mistakes by promoters of smaller companies. The basic form of advertising in the wrestling business is the flyer/poster. Every time you go to see any of the "bigger" companies, you'll walk out to your car and find it covered in handouts for smaller companies. The last few times I've been to ROH, I've collected flyers for companies like "Fireworks Championship Wrestling." In my opinion, posters and flyers are the best bang for your buck, advertising wise. They're cheap, and they can go just about anywhere. You can put them on drink machines, convenience store windows, grocery store bulletin boards, local sandwich shop windows, etc. You can canvas a large area of people with just a little effort and a little cash.
The other area in which you can expose your product to a large audience with little effort is TV. But I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that advertising your small company on television isn't exactly the best idea. If your ad runs during a wrestling show and features footage from your smaller company shot on a camera bought at Best Buy, how do you think it's going to look compared to the footage of WWE's programming, or even TNA's programming, both shot on professional quality cameras? It makes your company look bad, as it's not on par with the wrestling program it's up against. Fans are going to immediately connect your company with a lower level of quality than what they are used to. Of course, they're going to recognize that if they come to your show, but you can win them over with atmosphere and heart. Not to mention that they've already paid.
To give it a little perspective, lets say you are a fan of Alien with Sigourney Weaver. While watching Alien on cable one day you see a commercial for Hybrid (check here for a review). At first sight, they're both alien movies, they both take place in outer space, and they both have female protagonists. Even though by that definition, they're equal movies, if you were to see an ad for Hybrid while watching Alien, you'd hardly want to check out the movie because Alien is obviously higher quality. This is what happens when you advertise your smaller company during RAW. As with everything, there are exceptions. ECW could advertise during RAW specifically because it had the perfect devil may care attitude about production quality. Beware, though, that attitude like that is rare, and your company is probably not able to reproduce it. Not knocking your product, it's just that ECW is a once in a lifetime kind of deal.
Finally, a great form of advertising that comes dirt cheap is available, and that's the internet. If your company doesn't have a MySpace account, or a FaceBook account, it should. MySpace and FaceBook are great ways to connect with your fans for free, as long as you have internet access. Sending bulletins on MySpace only costs the time in which you take to post it, and can alert anyone interested enough to become a "friend" of what is going on with your company. Having a website is a bit like TV advertising. If you can have one made that looks phenomenal, then do it, but if it looks like your cousin Eddie did it for you ten years ago on Geocities, then don't. It will hurt you much more than it helps.
Remember that advertising is supposed to help your company look better. Make sure to get the best bang for your buck without making your company look cheap and low-profit. When people make the investment to come see your company, they want to believe it's going to be around for the next show.

4 things to help TNA

Somehow, unintentionally, this is becoming a TNA oriented blog. That hasn't been my intention. But, like good ole WCW, TNA gives me so much to say about what they're doing wrong that I can't really help talking about it. I'm going to try and be positive and give TNA 4 solid ideas on improving their show and their ratings.
My first idea is really simple: Re-establish Kurt Angle as a wrestling machine. At this moment in time, the TNA title doesn't really have what we like to call "prestige." It's a vanity plate, basically. It doesn't mean anything. That can change, and it can change quickly by making Kurt a crazed man obsessed with out performing his opponent. It wouldn't take much, either. Just have Kurt take on someone in the next main event, looks like either Petey Williams or Scott Steiner, and nearly lose. Let him win because AJ or Tomko helped him. Then have him determined to prove that he is better than the other wrestler, and take to training behind closed doors. Let Tomko guard the door, while Kurt and AJ (Since he was such a great amateur in Region 3) train. Have AJ scream like he's being stretched by Stu Hart, and even let him get a sprain or "broken bone." For the next PPV, show how much Kurt has improved. Then let him go on a "Killing Spree," choking out or making others tap out with some new MMA style submission holds. Keep this up for months, and you have a credible titleholder and a belt with "prestige."
The next idea is in a similar vein, and that is for TNA to take their time before Booker T gets a title shot. Have Cornette offer Booker a chance at the title, and have Cornette say it's because the management want to increase the buyrate for the next Pay Per View. Then Booker T comments on how he wants to be a champion because he's earned his spot, not because he's a famous name. He wants to respect those who have been in TNA longer than he has and let them have their chance. Then have someone like Robert Roode mock Booker for considering himself famous. Let them feud for a while, and hopefully they are both elevated by the feud, even though Booker T comes out on top. THEN give Booker a title shot. Don't let him win it the first time, though. Make the crowd get on their knees and beg for Booker to win. THEN give it to them. We like it like that.
The third idea is to re-establish the X Division title as a wrestling belt. For too long it's been based around gimmicks. It has been especially bad since the Jackass angles. Let the guys wrestle Jr. Heavyweight matches that blow the socks off of the fans. Have a few TV matches with time limits, and let the guys just get going when the time runs out. Then give them tons of time on the PPV's to just wrestle. The fans will buy the PPV just to see what they can do without a short time limit. Then you've also shown that the guys in the X Division can go just as good as the Heavyweights, just at their own speed and with their own style.
Finally, and this is a good one: Let the fans think Joe is going to leave. This is the hardest to do without hurting the company, but it's a rewarding one. Since Joe did his "shoot" promo Sunday night, let him keep going with the idea that he's unsatisfied. Let him establish that he loves the TNA fans, and that he doesn't want to offend them, but he's losing his passion for wrestling because of guys like Kevin Nash and Team 3D. Have Cornette tell him to "Lead, Follow, or Get out of the way." Joe decides that he really doesn't know what he wants to do, and ask for a few weeks to go home and think it over. Before he leaves, let Booker T say something heartfelt about getting from the business what you want. In the following weeks, continue the Team 3D feud with the X Division. Have 3D boasting that they dominate the midgets in the X Division, and that there isn't anyone who can take the X Division belt from them. Have them set up a match at the PPV with Team 3D vs Any two X Division stars who think they can take the belt. Introduce the first, Eric Young. Already having jumped Lethal, Shelley and Sabin, have 3D ask for his partner. Young says that he couldn't get Lethal, Sabin or Shelley because Team 3D demolished them. So he had to call in a favor. Is it Sharkboy? No. It's Joe. Not the Samoa Joe we've been seeing, but the Samoa Joe that held the ROH title for 2 years. The Joe that held the X Division title for so long. The Joe that doesn't back down from Bubba Ray or Devon. The crowd goes banana!

These aren't guaranteed, but they're worth a shot. It would help establish a few months of television that would actually satisfy every grouping of fan. Now if I could just move to Nashville and get in on the ground level, I'd work my way up.

You can tell JJ how you think TNA could improve here

Discuss TNA and their booking here

Why TNA's women's division is bad business...

This morning, instead of reading for class, I was reading on "Da Board," specifically in the "TNA comments" thread. There was an interesting discussion going on involving DK and SamoaRowe (who also has a blog on "Da Site") about the TNA Women's Division. It's a great discussion which you should get involved with, and it actually inspired me to write an entry for all my fan. While I agree with both of them, I have to agree more with DK. The problem is that at this moment in time, TNA needs to focus on itself as a business. It needs to MAKE money. How do you do this in wrestling? By putting out a product and MAKING names out of your wrestlers. Wrestling is a competition based industry, but it's still an industry.

I think this is a place where wrestling as a whole needs to learn from MMA. Make young stars in the undercard by putting them in quality matches, while you exploit the names of the older fighters to bring people in to watch. This is actually what WCW did right during the nWo era. The problem is, the older guys wouldn't let the younger guys step up to the next level. The fans then start to catch on that the business is a work because guys like Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit weren't getting title shots in spite of the fact that they were more talented than guys like Randy Savage and Kevin Nash. You stop believing that your guys will make it to the top, and you give up on them. I think that Goldberg actually kept WCW afloat for an extra year or two just because he finally broke through.

Now as for TNA, they've botched this repeatedly. Multiple times with Raven, Rhino & especially Samoa Joe. Instead of saying "Hey, lets take this guy or any other star who really established themselves in TNA and make them a new household name" the way WCW did with Sting, Goldberg, DDP or Booker T, they decide "Hey, lets pay big money for a star from WWE or WCW" like Angle, Nash, Steiner, or Christian. They keep trying to import excitement instead of earn it. Sometimes this works (nWo anyone?), but most of the time it won't. Baseball, Football, Basketball and Hockey understand this, and that's why most of them have minor leagues or rely on College Sports. The guys they draft prove themselves at a lower level before becoming a true star. There are exceptions, but it's generally the rule. There are teams, like the Yankees, who don't have to live by this, but unlike TNA, they have actually MADE money.

Until TNA actually learns this and brings in their own excitement and by that make money, they really can't experiment with something like a women's division. Do you think the NBA would have started the WNBA if it didn't have a strong enough financial base to absorb the initial loss of capital that a new league would bring? No. Would Major League Baseball have welcomed the Marlins and Rockies, or the Devil Rays and Diamondbacks had they not had enough of a fanbase to expand to four new cities? No. TNA adding the women's division is like the NHL expanding to new franchises next year, in spite of the fact that the league can barely make it with what they have right now. It's bad business. It's risk that doesn't show any true sign of reward now or in the future.

I know it's true that SHIMMER is actually doing a decent job of putting on Women's based cards, and they are possibly making money, but what TNA doesn't get is that SHIMMER's success will not necessarily translate to TNA's success. That's like Court Bauer or Ron Black starting hardcore wrestling companies MLW & XPW respectively and expecting a rabid chant happy mutant fan base just because ECW had one. TNA's women's product is not SHIMMER's wrestling product, even with the same workers. It's not guaranteed success. Ask Bauer or Black. They'll tell you.

Honestly, until TNA can actually start creating their own stars consistently, I think they're wasting time and money with a women's division. I'm not saying that their female talent aren't good, because they have a better women's division talent wise than WWE. What I'm saying is, from a business perspective it's an investment that is way too much risk for the little reward it brings at the moment. Ironically, though, you could say that about the company as a whole.


You can tell JJ how you think TNA could improve here

Discuss TNA and their women's division here

Some suggestions for TNA

I spent two hours watching Impact this afternoon, and boy are my eyes tired. Okay, that's not the best way to start a blog entry, but it's something. I actually DVR'ed the show this week and made the effort this afternoon to review it, but I found the job near impossible because I wouldn't be able to write anything that would actually be worth reading. Especially since there wasn't that much worth watching.

I'll start with something basic. Build up your champion. TNA failed MISERABLY in that regard in this episode. First off, Kurt's WIFE goes to find out about Scott Hall for him. That's right, his WIFE is doing his dirty work. Not only is his wife doing his dirty work, but she's doing it in segments that make MAD TV look like good acting. Angle now looks as if his wife wears the pants in the relationship, and I'm forced to mention MAD TV in my blog. Thanks a lot, TNA. Then we go to yet MORE backstage segments involving Angle and his wife. Angle's wife propositions Scott Hall. Yeah, right. Then Angle finally gets the marbles to confront Hall, and he gets pinned to the wall by a guy who most casual fans won't remember. This makes me yearn for a Taz-like Champion who kicks tail and takes names. This is TNA, though. The only dominant champ in their history has been Jeff Jarrett. Think about that.

Here's an idea that helped make Nitro and Raw so successful during the Monday Night Wars: Don't run any out of the ring segment over 1 minute. Seriously. This includes the backstage segments, any interviews, and anything that doesn't have wrestling in a ring. Several times during the show I was tempted, nay, encouraged to fast forward my DVR through a segment just to watch some wrestling. Anything non competitive that lasts over a minute encourages people to channel surf and find something MORE interesting on another channel. Not something you want when you're producing a TV show.

One idea that's apparently been pushed by Kurt Angle lately is to make the matches end clean. SEVERAL matches tonight either had screwjobs or run ins. Take it easy. I've heard that they've been better about this lately, but I didn't see it in this episode. Every time I opened my eyes it seemed like someone was running in. AJ Styles, Tomko, 3 different chicks, Black Reign, Team 3D, Tomko AGAIN and Rick Steiner. What a mess. There ARE better ways to book wrestling than the run ins. Seriously, guys.

Finally, I'm going to say one last thing. This has been my greatest complaint about TNA over the past several years, and I'm not about to let up: The commentary is miserable. During the Christian-Kaz match, they talked about the PPV, the Road to Genesis special (Saturday Night on Spike TV), Scott Hall's return, and Sting's partner at the PPV. All that BEFORE the commercial break in the middle of the match. Not halfway through and they already talked about something else. This is unacceptable. You're supposed to sell the action in the ring, and then that action will sell the Pay Per View. No matter how much you remind that there is a Pay Per View this weekend, we're not going to want to purchase it if all you're doing is talking about it.

I'm not saying all this because I don't like TNA. In fact, I want to like TNA more than any other product out there. I just can't get into it because it's so miserable. Just working on these 4 simple things will greatly improve the product, in my opinion. It's just that simple.

You can tell JJ how you think TNA could improve here

Discuss Impact and the Pay Per View here

Storytelling in Smackdown, part deux

Continuing on with what I started last week, I'll take a look today at a match that featured some really good, simple storytelling: Domino vs. MVP.

Now, this match is a continuation of two seperate stories: The conflict between Tag Team partners Matt Hardy & MVP, and their conflict with Deuce & Domino. The conflict between Matt & MVP is a classic: the tag team partners that hate each other. As usual, it's one heel and one face, but the difference here is Matt Hardy. Much like Sting was in WCW, Matt plays the crowd favorite babyface who tries to turn his heel opponent by using positive tactics & re-inforcement. MVP, of course, is the cheating heel who wants nothing but to win. The twist comes as MVP and Hardy were feuding for the United States Title before they were Tag Team partners, and MVP has repeatedly insisted that he was better than Matt.

In their match, their conflict takes a great turn. After MVP "sneezes" and ruins their game of chess, Matt informs MVP that he has a match against Domino, right about... NOW! In the match, Domino starts to get the upper hand on the hardly prepared MVP (Who wrestles most of the match in suit pants and an undershirt) and Matt tries to rally the crowd with a chant of "M-V-P!" The crowd, not liking MVP nor afraid to show it, adds "SUCKS!" to the end of each and everyone of Matt's chants. Matt is doing his best to make sure MVP fights a clean match, and even tries to keep Deuce and Cherry honest, which leads to MVP yelling at Matt to stay out of the match. This distraction leads to Domino getting the school boy roll-up for the pin. Matt & MVP argue in the ring while Deuce & Domino celebrate on the outside. The story of the conflict between Matt & MVP continues, as MVP will most likely blame Matt for the loss. The story between Matt & MVP and Deuce & Domino continues, as Deuce and Domino now have more bragging rights over Matt & MVP in spite of the fact that MVP was distracted when Domino got the pin.

Now, we can complain about the fact that Domino got the pin over the US Champion, but MVP isn't wrestling in his capacity as United States Champion in this story. He's wrestling as Matt's partner . Matt did a wonderful job trying to get the crowd to cheer for MVP, and regardless of where MVP goes from here, it gets over the point that Matt is behind his partner. It makes Matt a better face, gets us to ask "Is MVP gonna start trusting Matt?" and lets us see that Deuce and Domino are sleazy heels by getting a win without "earning" it. All in all, I think that's some incredibly good storytelling by Matt, MVP, Deuce & Domino, and by WWE.

P.S.- I can't help but be amused by Deuce & Domino's characters... They're amusing, to say the least.

You can tell JJ how you find Deuce & Domino entertaining here

Join in on the Friday Night Smackdown! discussion here

Storytelling in Smackdown...

This past Friday, I sat down in my living room and watched Smackdown for the first time in a long time. As I've mentioned before, I have had a lack of interest in televised wrestling since the "Benoit Incident." So for me to be flipping on the TV to the CW (Channel 4 here in East Tennessee) is something of a big deal. It's a means to me slowly getting myself back into the mix.

So what did I think? What's going through the mind of the Mad Scientologist of Pro Wrestling (Is that as bad a joke as I'm starting to think it is???) as he's watching the supposed B-Show of WWE? Well, to be honest, I was entertained. The segments and matches on the "B-Show" did something that I thought WWE was currently incapable of: They told a story, and they did so without being completely outrageous.

Now, before I get lambasted, I want to interject that the story wasn't completely outrageous for Smackdown and its wild assortment of characters. It won't work on a show like Nash Bridges or ER, but for WWE's Friday Night show it's acceptable. I'm going to take a peek this week at how acceptable they really are by reviewing three different segments.

Today, I'll take a look at the Shannon Moore-Jamie Noble match up. Before the matchup, they give us a video that summed up the "animosity" between Noble & the Cruiserweight Champion "Little Bastard" Hornswoggle McMahon. The video itself was a good brief recap of the feud and shows fans, like myself, that Hornswoggle has been tormenting Noble for the past few weeks. The match itself is a Cruiserweight #1 Contender's match between Moore & Noble, which turns out to be fairly competitive. Moore and Noble try to hash it out in the ring, and Noble has the upper hand between the two. Once Moore realizes this, he utilizes the fact that Noble is paranoid about Hornswoggle costing him a match and lies to the ref about seeing the Little Bastard coming out from under the ring. Noble, not about to let Hornswoggle get him again, tries to see for himself and gets rolled up in a school boy pin. Moore wins the match.

What does this match tell us? Well, for one we see that Noble is technician enough that Moore resulted in cheap tactics to win the match. Secondly, we see that Hornswoggle has messed with Jamie Noble enough that Noble can no longer handle it. It puts over both Hornswoggle and Jamie Noble in one segment, proving that Hornswoggle has some credibility as Cruiserweight Champion. Is this credibility related to his in-ring ability? No. That’s a weakness in the feud, and one I’m afraid won’t be fixed. But Hornswoggle wouldn’t be the first person to result to mind games out of the ring to get an upper hand in the ring, would he? Nor would he be the first limited in-ring competitor to hold a title. I mean, at least he’s not David Arquette.

Later this week I’ll take a look at the two other segments I found entertaining on Friday Night: Domino vs. MVP and the Mark Henry-Undertaker segment. I’ll break them down much like this one and try to explain why I think they worked, and what I think needs improvement. Feel free to speak up until then.

You can complain to JJ Dangerously about Noble being misused here

Better yet, join in the Friday Night Smackdown! discussion here

The Golden Arches of Wrestling

It's quick. It's cheesy. It's only momentarily satisfying, but with a slightly greasy, guilty aftertaste. It's the McDonald's of wrestling. McMahon's is shoving drugged, un-human, overly-beefy dandys down our collective throats and calls it Entertainment the same way those Golden Arches shove drugged, overly beefed processed patties and call it nutrition. This "Sports Entertainment" is satisfying for the fans and, like fast food, horribly unhealthy for everyone involved. What used to be revered a sport has been sacrificed at the altar of our short attention span and desire for convenience alongside breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

What am I saying, you ask? Have you not been online all weekend? (I know I haven't, thanks to faulty internet and a trip to my grandparents for a family reunion.) This past weekend three different news organizations have reported almost 20 names of professional wrestlers, all but one a recent WWE star, who have been buying their steroids from an online pharmacy in New York. You don't believe me? Don't be so glib! I'm the "Mad Scientologist of Professional Wrestling," after all. I'll let you see the names, and the articles they came from.

Sports Illustrated lists Chris Benoit(deceased), Eddie Guerrero(deceased), Brian "Crush" Adams(deceased), Sylvain Grenier(released), Chavo Guererro, Shane Helms, Randy Orton, John Hennigan (Johnny Nitro/John Morrison), Ken Anderson (Mr. Kennedy... Kennedy), Sho Funaki, Charlie Haas, Edward Fatu(Umaga), Darren Matthews(William Regal), and Adam Copeland(Edge). Adding to that list, the New York Daily News adds Mike Bucci(Nova/Simon Dean, just released), Robert Huffman(Booker T), and Anthony Carelli(Santino Marella). ESPN also threw in Dave Bautista(Batista), and Chris Mordecki(Chris Masters).

In total, that's 19 different names listed. Nineteen. "But JJ, three of them are dead." That's right. One of them from a steroid related heart condition(Guerrero), and one was prescribed an OVERWHELMING amount of Roids before stunning the world and putting the spotlight on wrestling(Benoit). The other, we don't really know about. What this means is that two years ago, there were at least eighteen guys on the WWE roster on "the juice." There's no real telling how many truly are. Apparently, Batista is adamantly denying his name being in the hat, but how many people look at Batista and think "Wow, what natural size?" What's surprising here isn't just the obivous. It's the names that seem out of place. Who, in their right mind, would think Funaki is using steroids? Smackdown's #1 Announcer needed steroids? REALLY?? Look at who else is named on the list. Umaga?? Regal?? Chavo?? SIMON DEAN?? Looks like we finally figured out the secret to the Simon System, huh?

What kills me isn't that there are so many names listed. It's that a business that once built itself around guys who could go sixty minutes a night and hold their own in a barfight now only ask their wrestlers to go 10 minutes on TV and jack themselves up on steroids to look like they're powerful. Much like what Ray Kroc did with the restaurant, Vince McMahon has now turned what we know and love as Professional Wrestling into a "Fast Food" version called "Sports Entertainment." Instead of Wrestlers, Women Wrestlers, Veterans and Referees we get "Superstars," "Divas," "Legends" and "WWE Officials." The Big Macs, Chicken McNuggets, Quarter Pounders and "Apple Pies" of our sport. The focus is less on the Wrestling and more on the Entertainment in World Wrestling Entertainment.

I'm not saying that Vince should close up shop and live his life in shame. Maybe, though, he should focus more on the Sport and less on the Entertainment. More on the Food and less on the Fast. It will only make things better for us all in the end.

You can "stick it" to JJ Dangerously here.

You can add some "juice" to Da Wrestling Board's conversation on the steroid suspensions here.

It's almost time again...

For more amazing TCW action! You'd think they were paying me with the amount of blog entries I write about them, but they're honestly the only enjoyable wrestling I'm getting my eyes on, as I can't afford to pay for ROH DVD's. That being said, lets take a look at the upcoming TCW show:

As you can see, the Main Event is TCW Champion "Iceman" Jeff Storm & TCW US Champion Exotica with Jeff's Manager The Guardian going up against Former TCW Champion "Perfect Storm" & "Sugar" Shane Hennig with Brett's manager Rebecca Lynn. This match up almost guarantees that Lynn will try some sort of mischief to help her team to win. If I were the Jeff or Exotica, I'd keep my eyes wide open for someone running in from the locker room. As for Brett & Sugar Shane, they better have their working boots on, as both Jeff & Exotica will refuse to lay down for the two disrespectful youngsters.

"Playboy" Jamie Gibson gets his shot at "Hard Body" Alan King after Alan King assaulted Playboy following a tag match last month. As usual, it was Rebecca Lynn's orders that have caused the problem between the two. Of course, Alan King's over-inflated ego and self-image don't help anything. Gibson should have a fun time flinging "Hard Body" around the ring, though as we've learned, Rebecca Lynn's presence can mean foul play at any time. If I were Alan King, I'd be calling in sick. If I were Jamie Gibson, I'd be making sure somebody backstage had my back. Knowing Rebecca Lynn, I'd have backup for my backup.

The Southern Express have issued an open challenge to any team that wants a shot at the tag team gold. This blue collar team have made a quick fan of me, though I still find this to be a risky call. There are plenty of tag teams in the area who have the "guts" to answer this challenge. Whoever accepts has the opportunity to prepare themselves for the rugged rights and lefts of Tommy Fantastic, and the unrelenting offense of Brady Hawks.

There should be lots more action, and yours truly will be there. Hopefully, so will you.


Find out more about TCW on MySpace or on their Yahoo Group

E-mail JJ Dangerously if you've got the cajones

What wrestling really is...

I've read alot online about people losing their desire to watch wrestling since the "Benoit Tragedy." I include myself in that grouping, but I've wondered if the cause was Benoit or just the fact that no one is putting out a halfway decent product anymore. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that both major companies, TNA & WWE, seem to be putting out product solely to make money, not to further the art of professional wrestling. It could even be the overall negative attitude on the sport from the internet. Regardless, I believe Saturday night, I figured out what my issue has been.

How did I find this out? I made the hour drive to Mountain City to check out my local indy, Triton Championship Wrestling. Thanks to the Cruise in that was going on in Downtown Elizabethon, I didn't make it to Mountain City on time and missed the first match between Rick Karoff and Muhhamud Turkih. I hate that I missed it, and apologize to the two for not being able to comment on their match.

I got into the building as introductions were being made for a US Title match between "Sugar" Shane Hennig and US Champion Exotica. Exotica used to work the gay gimmick, and reminded me of Rico without the glitter. As of late, though, he's become quite the serious worker, who's not afraid to remind people who he once was as a way of reminding you how far he's come. "Sugar" Shane is an up and comer who's just starting to make a splash in TCW. He's obviously a fan of Austin Aries (pendulum elbow, anyone?), and that's not going to hurt him as he moves along in his career. The two had a match that started a bit slow, but finished strong. You could see that these two want to please the fans, even if Hennig would rather slap them than shake their hand.

The next match was originally supposed to be the Southern Express defending the tag titles against the Ultimate Males. Before the show though, as my friend Patrick had explained, "Playboy" Jamie Gibson had come out to explain that some personal issues had caused the team to go their separate ways, and that he was looking for a partner, as he still wanted the tag titles. The Southern Express, Brady Hawks & Tommy Fantastic, came out to one of the greatest “pops” of the night, ready to take on Gibson and anybody who dared to join him.

Surprisingly, “Hard Body” Alan King (The only reason he can get away with that name is because he’s pretty much skin and bones) came out with his escort, Miss Rebecca Lynn, and offered to join up with Gibson. Gibson agreed and the match began. The Southern Express came out with their fighting boots on, forcing Gibson and King to regroup several times. Fantastic and Hawks tore up the challengers, especially Alan “I scream like a six year old girl watching Freddy Krueger” King. The Southern Express picked up the win to retain their titles. Following the match, King attacked Gibson with the help of Rebecca Lynn. Lynn claimed it was for Gibson dropping her as his manager for Wicked Wanda. Commissioner Ray came out and scheduled a bout between Gibson & King on September 8.

Following Intermission, we got the two marquee bouts of the evening. The first of the two being the “Extreme Grudge Match” between “The Xtreme One” Mikkie McMasters and “The Outlaw” D.P. Holliday (accompanied by Miss Rebecca Lynn). These two combatants were at one point fan favorites and TCW Tag Team Champions. Once they hit a rough patch, though, Holliday was quick to blame McMasters and his risk taking style for their losses. Holliday tore up McMasters knee and actually put McMasters out of action for a few months. Their Grudge Match symbolized every bith of animosity between the two, as they went as hardcore as TCW could go. McMasters flung himself across and out of the ring, and Holliday brawled with McMasters like Mikkie had kissed his Mom. In the end McMasters picked up the win, much to the delight of all the young ones in the crowd.

Finally, we had the TCW Championship match between TCW Champion “Perfect Storm” Brett Storm and his father “Ice Man” Jeff Storm. These two have gone back and forth for months. Once a team, Brett (Who is managed by Rebecca Lynn. Notice a pattern here?) turned on his father and cost them the TCW Tag Team Titles. Ever since that point, Jeff has been out to teach his son about respect. Brett wouldn’t respond to simple things, so Jeff risked his career by promising to retire if he lost the match. Add on that Jeff’s Manager, Guardian, and the Infamous Miss Lynn were handcuffed together and we got a pretty decent match to look forward too, right?

Well, since the match was no DQ, “Sugar” Shane Hennig decided to interfere. He helped Brett pin Jeff and the match was over. I mean, it is no DQ, right? Well, Commissioner James Ray makes another appearance and tells Brett Storm that he can accept that win, but by doing so he would forfeit the title. So the match restarts. There was constant bickering between Guardian and Rebecca Lynn, as Lynn was always attempting to cheat, there were near falls as Brett would get the upper hand, and there was interference by “Sugar” Shane helping the Champ during a figure four. All this, and Jeff Storm persevered.

Unwilling to sacrifice his career to his disrespectful son, Jeff overcame the odds and finished off both his son and “Sugar” Shane with Death Valley Drivers before picking up the win and the TCW Championship. The crowd erupted with excitement and taunted the losing Storm and his newfound ally as they walked out. It wasn’t long, though, before the two returned to the ring to assault the new Champion in a show of bad sportsmanship. The TCW United States Champion, Exotica, quickly came to the aid of Jeff Storm, and Commissioner James Ray made another bout for September 8th, TCW Champion “Ice Man” Jeff Storm & TCW US Champion Exotica w/ The Guardian vs. “Perfect Storm” Brett Storm & “Sugar” Shane Hennig w/ Miss Rebecca Lynn.

The perfomances of the night were what I've come to expect from TCW. A great bargain, really, as admission for anyone over 12 is just $5. But what really made the night for me happened after the show was over. I, as I usually do (It's a way of saying thanks, as I feel like I'm stealing from them getting good wrestling for only $5), I helped to take down the ring. That's when I got to see what I feel I've forgotten about wrestling lately: Fun. Everyone helping to take the ring down was laughing, joking and enjoying what a good night they'd had. That's when I remembered what being an internet wrestling nerd has led me to forget. Wrestling is all about having fun. It's not about perfect booking, or the right theme music for every wrestler. It's about fun. Fun I'll be having again on September 8th.

Find out more about TCW on MySpace or on their Yahoo Group

E-mail JJ Dangerously if you've got the cajones

Well, we're talking...

I can see it now, clear as day. This past week, those great folks at TNA Management(TM Larry Zybysko) were surfing the web and stumbled across my blog. They see "TNA really hasn’t given me anything worth talking about" and then a conversation follows:

TNA Management 1: This douchebag says that there we haven't given him anything to talk about!

TNA Management 2: Ignore it, it's probably just some retarded teenager in his parent's basement.

TNA Management 3: Isn't that basically what HHH has said in the past?

TNA Management 2: Well, I added the retard part. Besides, we borrow both workers and writing style from WWE,(Badly, might I add) why not our insults as well?

TNA Management 1: Since we actually listen to our fans, we need to do something that will get this guy talking.

TNA Management 3: Didn't he say something about how we should get him talking?

TNA Management 2: I didn't read that part. Let's throw away more money by signing someone famous!

TNA Management 3: Shouldn't we do something to further the state of the business instead? Especially after the shocking tragedy involving the Benoit family. Why don't we offer some health insurance to our workers, since Konnan is on National Television telling the world we wouldn't do that for him. Why not save the money and use it for filming Pay Per Views outside of Orlando?

TNA Management 1: That sounds good, but I'd rather hire a celebrity! We'll get a video that doesn't remotely mention anything about who we are on ESPN! It will be great! Who should we hire? How about David Hasselhoff?

TNA Management 2: We need someone with an edge. How about Dennis Rodman?

TNA Management 3: We've already hired Rodman and it didn't work out.

TNA Management 1: I know! Let's hire someone who frequents strip clubs and has constant run ins with the law!

TNA Management 2: New Jack?

TNA Management 1: No, that Football Player that I heard about. The one who's suspended by the NFL.

TNA Management 3: Which one? There commissioner is cleaning up their image. Something we should be doing.

TNA Management 1: That Pac-Man fellow! It'll be great. We'll have him lead his own stable! There will be a tag team dressed in different color sheets. We'll hire a woman everyone considers decent in the ring accompany him to the ring as "Ms. Pac-Man." Our ratings will sky rocket to 1.19!

TNA Management 2: You're a genius!

TNA Management 3: *Head explodes*

Obviously, that's made up, but the way TNA has been going lately, it wouldn't surprise me if that were more accurate than not. It seems ridiculous to me that TNA would hire a high-risk name like Adam "Pac-Man" Jones during a period of time in which Professional Wrestling is under instense scrutiny.

What clearly drives this decision is money. Not that TNA has that much, but they clearly see this as another opportunity to get their footage on ESPN. Which is ridiculous, as ESPN never identifies the company. They read a line like "Pacman Jones is back in action this week, in the wrestling ring. Pacman took on Jeff Jarrett this past weekend on Pay Per View, and won." Great publicity, right? Because people are really going to look into it more than that.

As far as I'm concerned, it's another stunt that carries TNA in the wrong direction. It will probably end up on a "TNA's Greatest 100 Moments" DVD someday, but that will be the only time anyone ever remembers it.

Talk about TNA signing "Pacman", and his multi colored sheet wearing entourage here.

Movie Review: Transformers

Right off the bat, I’ll admit that I’m a “Transfan.” For you un-initiated people, that means that I’m a Transformers nerd. I grew up on the cartoons like New Englanders grow up on Red Sox games. I pined over the toys in catalogs and at stores. I cried the first dozen or so times I watched Optimus Prime die in the original Transformers movie. I’ve even watched nearly every Transformers cartoon since. I begrudgingly watched Beast Wars, and grew to love it. I sat through the oddly pseudo religious anomaly called Beast Machines. I endured “Robots In Disguise” even though there was just as much screen time for people as there was for Transformers. I even watched Transformers:Armada and gave Transformers:Energon a shot in spite of the oddly stiff computer animated Cybertronians. (If they could make an entirely CGI Beast Wars/Beast Machines, why was it so hard to make someones mouth move properly in ‘Energon?’) All this doesn’t even include the comics.

Having said that, I was willing to accept that Michael Bay’s Transformers was going to be a departure from what I had grown accustomed to. I wasn’t expecting complicated plots or Oscar worthy performances (or directing). I just walked into the theater expecting to see a movie about a race of alien robots reliving the classic good versus evil battle. What I got instead was a mish mash of Men In Black, Independence Day, Malcom in the Middle, and Pearl Harbor. Not even the good parts, either.

The film is rife with bad humor. Almost every character that isn’t white has a racial stereotype connected to it. Shia Lebouf’s character Sam is connected to too many scenes (one of which centers around masturbation) in which his parents remind us that being a teenager is incredibly uncomfortable as if no one knew. John Turturro’s character reminds us that government agents are not only inept, but practically retarded. Not even the Transformers are safe from bad humor, as a Chihuahua “lubricates” Ironhide’s foot, and Bumblebee later “lubricates” Turturro’s character. There’s also a Decepticon CD Player that apparently watched a lot of Robin Williams on Fast Forward. Because that’s what it acted like.

If you think the humor is bad (and I do) you should see the action sequences, or the lack thereof. When you do get to see a fight, it’s usually in slow-motion. Not Matrix-esque bullet time, mind you. It’s good old fashioned Michael Bay “I’m running and shooting at the same time” action. That’s if you get to see it, though. Often in the film, you miss the best action because the camera follows Sam instead of the giant battling robots. It happens early on as Bumblebee and Barricade go at it, and instead we see Sam fighting Frenzy and being saved by his girlfriend. It is most noticeable, though, at the climactic final battles as instead of watching the Transformers duke it out, we see the Military ducking for cover, or instead of watching Optimus Prime and Megatron have at it we follow Sam into a hole in the ground. I’m serious. Be rest assured that you’ll know exactly when the battles over, though. Every time a battle ends, someone stands up dramatically to take a peek at the devastation. That’s just in case you forgot Michael Bay was directing.

What truly amazes me about this film is not that the bad action or the bad humor. It’s that in a movie about 30 foot transforming robots at war most of the time we see the robots they’re standing around like a bunch of high school kids in between class. In plain sight. In some scenes they talk loudly and fall over in suburbia and no one seems to notice. They’re also made to look like idiots who are less intelligent than the “Primitive” humans they’re supposedly protecting. Especially when it’s the human’s that save the day, and not the Autobots. It’s WCW booking in a major motion picture!

Save your money and see another movie. If you’re thinking about spending your hard earned $8 on an action flick, save it for “Live Free & Die Hard.” If you want to spend your cash on a comedy, try “I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry.” If you want something to take the kids to, try “Harry Potter.” Even if you’re against the “black magic” of Potter, you won’t have to explain to your 7 year old what Masturbation is. Because if you take them to Transformers, you’ll be explaining that and a lot more