Storytelling in Smackdown, part deux

Continuing on with what I started last week, I'll take a look today at a match that featured some really good, simple storytelling: Domino vs. MVP.

Now, this match is a continuation of two seperate stories: The conflict between Tag Team partners Matt Hardy & MVP, and their conflict with Deuce & Domino. The conflict between Matt & MVP is a classic: the tag team partners that hate each other. As usual, it's one heel and one face, but the difference here is Matt Hardy. Much like Sting was in WCW, Matt plays the crowd favorite babyface who tries to turn his heel opponent by using positive tactics & re-inforcement. MVP, of course, is the cheating heel who wants nothing but to win. The twist comes as MVP and Hardy were feuding for the United States Title before they were Tag Team partners, and MVP has repeatedly insisted that he was better than Matt.

In their match, their conflict takes a great turn. After MVP "sneezes" and ruins their game of chess, Matt informs MVP that he has a match against Domino, right about... NOW! In the match, Domino starts to get the upper hand on the hardly prepared MVP (Who wrestles most of the match in suit pants and an undershirt) and Matt tries to rally the crowd with a chant of "M-V-P!" The crowd, not liking MVP nor afraid to show it, adds "SUCKS!" to the end of each and everyone of Matt's chants. Matt is doing his best to make sure MVP fights a clean match, and even tries to keep Deuce and Cherry honest, which leads to MVP yelling at Matt to stay out of the match. This distraction leads to Domino getting the school boy roll-up for the pin. Matt & MVP argue in the ring while Deuce & Domino celebrate on the outside. The story of the conflict between Matt & MVP continues, as MVP will most likely blame Matt for the loss. The story between Matt & MVP and Deuce & Domino continues, as Deuce and Domino now have more bragging rights over Matt & MVP in spite of the fact that MVP was distracted when Domino got the pin.

Now, we can complain about the fact that Domino got the pin over the US Champion, but MVP isn't wrestling in his capacity as United States Champion in this story. He's wrestling as Matt's partner . Matt did a wonderful job trying to get the crowd to cheer for MVP, and regardless of where MVP goes from here, it gets over the point that Matt is behind his partner. It makes Matt a better face, gets us to ask "Is MVP gonna start trusting Matt?" and lets us see that Deuce and Domino are sleazy heels by getting a win without "earning" it. All in all, I think that's some incredibly good storytelling by Matt, MVP, Deuce & Domino, and by WWE.

P.S.- I can't help but be amused by Deuce & Domino's characters... They're amusing, to say the least.

You can tell JJ how you find Deuce & Domino entertaining here

Join in on the Friday Night Smackdown! discussion here

Storytelling in Smackdown...

This past Friday, I sat down in my living room and watched Smackdown for the first time in a long time. As I've mentioned before, I have had a lack of interest in televised wrestling since the "Benoit Incident." So for me to be flipping on the TV to the CW (Channel 4 here in East Tennessee) is something of a big deal. It's a means to me slowly getting myself back into the mix.

So what did I think? What's going through the mind of the Mad Scientologist of Pro Wrestling (Is that as bad a joke as I'm starting to think it is???) as he's watching the supposed B-Show of WWE? Well, to be honest, I was entertained. The segments and matches on the "B-Show" did something that I thought WWE was currently incapable of: They told a story, and they did so without being completely outrageous.

Now, before I get lambasted, I want to interject that the story wasn't completely outrageous for Smackdown and its wild assortment of characters. It won't work on a show like Nash Bridges or ER, but for WWE's Friday Night show it's acceptable. I'm going to take a peek this week at how acceptable they really are by reviewing three different segments.

Today, I'll take a look at the Shannon Moore-Jamie Noble match up. Before the matchup, they give us a video that summed up the "animosity" between Noble & the Cruiserweight Champion "Little Bastard" Hornswoggle McMahon. The video itself was a good brief recap of the feud and shows fans, like myself, that Hornswoggle has been tormenting Noble for the past few weeks. The match itself is a Cruiserweight #1 Contender's match between Moore & Noble, which turns out to be fairly competitive. Moore and Noble try to hash it out in the ring, and Noble has the upper hand between the two. Once Moore realizes this, he utilizes the fact that Noble is paranoid about Hornswoggle costing him a match and lies to the ref about seeing the Little Bastard coming out from under the ring. Noble, not about to let Hornswoggle get him again, tries to see for himself and gets rolled up in a school boy pin. Moore wins the match.

What does this match tell us? Well, for one we see that Noble is technician enough that Moore resulted in cheap tactics to win the match. Secondly, we see that Hornswoggle has messed with Jamie Noble enough that Noble can no longer handle it. It puts over both Hornswoggle and Jamie Noble in one segment, proving that Hornswoggle has some credibility as Cruiserweight Champion. Is this credibility related to his in-ring ability? No. That’s a weakness in the feud, and one I’m afraid won’t be fixed. But Hornswoggle wouldn’t be the first person to result to mind games out of the ring to get an upper hand in the ring, would he? Nor would he be the first limited in-ring competitor to hold a title. I mean, at least he’s not David Arquette.

Later this week I’ll take a look at the two other segments I found entertaining on Friday Night: Domino vs. MVP and the Mark Henry-Undertaker segment. I’ll break them down much like this one and try to explain why I think they worked, and what I think needs improvement. Feel free to speak up until then.

You can complain to JJ Dangerously about Noble being misused here

Better yet, join in the Friday Night Smackdown! discussion here

The Golden Arches of Wrestling

It's quick. It's cheesy. It's only momentarily satisfying, but with a slightly greasy, guilty aftertaste. It's the McDonald's of wrestling. McMahon's is shoving drugged, un-human, overly-beefy dandys down our collective throats and calls it Entertainment the same way those Golden Arches shove drugged, overly beefed processed patties and call it nutrition. This "Sports Entertainment" is satisfying for the fans and, like fast food, horribly unhealthy for everyone involved. What used to be revered a sport has been sacrificed at the altar of our short attention span and desire for convenience alongside breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

What am I saying, you ask? Have you not been online all weekend? (I know I haven't, thanks to faulty internet and a trip to my grandparents for a family reunion.) This past weekend three different news organizations have reported almost 20 names of professional wrestlers, all but one a recent WWE star, who have been buying their steroids from an online pharmacy in New York. You don't believe me? Don't be so glib! I'm the "Mad Scientologist of Professional Wrestling," after all. I'll let you see the names, and the articles they came from.

Sports Illustrated lists Chris Benoit(deceased), Eddie Guerrero(deceased), Brian "Crush" Adams(deceased), Sylvain Grenier(released), Chavo Guererro, Shane Helms, Randy Orton, John Hennigan (Johnny Nitro/John Morrison), Ken Anderson (Mr. Kennedy... Kennedy), Sho Funaki, Charlie Haas, Edward Fatu(Umaga), Darren Matthews(William Regal), and Adam Copeland(Edge). Adding to that list, the New York Daily News adds Mike Bucci(Nova/Simon Dean, just released), Robert Huffman(Booker T), and Anthony Carelli(Santino Marella). ESPN also threw in Dave Bautista(Batista), and Chris Mordecki(Chris Masters).

In total, that's 19 different names listed. Nineteen. "But JJ, three of them are dead." That's right. One of them from a steroid related heart condition(Guerrero), and one was prescribed an OVERWHELMING amount of Roids before stunning the world and putting the spotlight on wrestling(Benoit). The other, we don't really know about. What this means is that two years ago, there were at least eighteen guys on the WWE roster on "the juice." There's no real telling how many truly are. Apparently, Batista is adamantly denying his name being in the hat, but how many people look at Batista and think "Wow, what natural size?" What's surprising here isn't just the obivous. It's the names that seem out of place. Who, in their right mind, would think Funaki is using steroids? Smackdown's #1 Announcer needed steroids? REALLY?? Look at who else is named on the list. Umaga?? Regal?? Chavo?? SIMON DEAN?? Looks like we finally figured out the secret to the Simon System, huh?

What kills me isn't that there are so many names listed. It's that a business that once built itself around guys who could go sixty minutes a night and hold their own in a barfight now only ask their wrestlers to go 10 minutes on TV and jack themselves up on steroids to look like they're powerful. Much like what Ray Kroc did with the restaurant, Vince McMahon has now turned what we know and love as Professional Wrestling into a "Fast Food" version called "Sports Entertainment." Instead of Wrestlers, Women Wrestlers, Veterans and Referees we get "Superstars," "Divas," "Legends" and "WWE Officials." The Big Macs, Chicken McNuggets, Quarter Pounders and "Apple Pies" of our sport. The focus is less on the Wrestling and more on the Entertainment in World Wrestling Entertainment.

I'm not saying that Vince should close up shop and live his life in shame. Maybe, though, he should focus more on the Sport and less on the Entertainment. More on the Food and less on the Fast. It will only make things better for us all in the end.

You can "stick it" to JJ Dangerously here.

You can add some "juice" to Da Wrestling Board's conversation on the steroid suspensions here.